


Publicity

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-03-09 15:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3254633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorn spoke up, "But... but you asked if we could really hack that security system!!"<br/>Barney's brows raised, "No, I asked if *you* could."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

"You guys got into the Swiss bank?? How the Hell'd you do that without hacking?" Thorn's voice was almost high with his disbelief.

Lee gave him a dry look, "We *did* hack in."

"Oh." The kid looked a little embarrassed, but also oddly reassured, "Hired someone uh? Or.. did you have someone on the team, then?"

Lee stared at him steadily for a minute, trying to remember what he'd heard about their attempt to take Stonebanks. He finally turned to Barney, sitting next to him lost in his thoughts as Lee and Thorn, and most of the the expanded team, hung out and chatted around a few tables at the bar, "I know you like playing the muscle-bound knucklehead, but you better not be starting to buy your own publicity."

Barney immediately focused on him and smirked, proving he was perfectly aware of the conversations around him. He dragged out the curiosity that Lee could feel coming from Thorn, now, by having a leisurely swallow of his beer while Lee watched him and tried not to laugh.

"I *don't* buy into it. I just let everyone else buy it."

Lee just snorted, but Thorn was obviously catching the drift and getting agitated and finally spoke up, "But... but you asked if we could really hack that security system!!"

Barney's brows raised, "No, I asked if *you* could."

While the kid sputtered, Lee added, aware that the other new members had started paying attention, "He's a master programmer, Thorn. At least as long as someone's around that can stop him breaking the technology if-" he rolled his eyes, " *When* he loses his temper."

A beat of dead silence and a shocked stare only slowly changed to a voice that started hesitant and ended annoyed, "If you know programming, why the hell do you always want to just blow shit up and go in guns blazing??"

By then all the old team members were chuckling, and Lee had to have sympathy for the younger folks' wide eyes: Barney'd been tricky to see through 15 years ago; age had only made it easier for him to hide behind society's stereotypes.

"Thorn, I was hacking before you were born." Thorn looked like he was going to huff, but Barney's steady, not remotely joking look made him rethink it -or made him do the math-, "It's a *good* skill to have. But it doesn't solve all problems. Plenty of times blazing some guns saves you future problems."

Lee snorted, "And he *likes* blowing shit up."

Barney gave him one of his rare full grins, "What's not to like?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Demolition Man. for some reason the scene near the start where he hooks that old ipad into the payphone mutated into this, lol


	2. Chapter 2

Lee couldn't help but notice that after that night, the new Expendables all started watching Barney like they were waiting for him to shape shift or something. Which made him chuckle at first, even if Barney wore that excessively patient look that meant he was swearing inside his head.

Then a couple days later he caught Galgo watching *him*.

He was about to pull a very deliberate what the fuck rant at him when he caught himself and remembered this was one guy who wouldn't hesitate to answer the question as though it wasn't a rhetorical rant at all. 

And Lee didn't really think he wanted to know what magic they thought *he* could do.

He should have known better than to think he'd get away with it.

\--

Tool had called to say he was going to be late with the mission files, and the gang, after suitable mock-groaning at being forced into each other's company any longer than necessary, had started another pot of coffee and sprawled out, doing small jobs like sharpening knives, or talking shop. Lee snorted quietly to himself, listening to Toll and Smilee: 'boasting' would be a better word. He wasn't sure what to call Gunner's simpering around Thorn, though. Other than disturbing.

He firmly ignored Galgo and Doc whispering at each other while staring at either him, or Barney who was sitting next to him frowning at the tablet Lee'd forced into his hands.

Caesar's kids' pictures somehow ended up going around, though, which was good; it usually mellowed the man, which aught to make for one less person mouthing off during the debrief.

"So. Any small secrets *you'd* like to share with us, boss?"

Luna's question caught Barney in the middle of a swallow of coffee and he choked, Lee reaching over to thump his back with a laugh, "Way to go, Luna! Been a while since anyone managed to make him show surprise." Barney's glare at him just made him grin wider.

"Sorry," the wrestler's grin was less than apologetic, though, "Just thought I'd ask, you know, rather than our getting blind-sided in a mission?"

There was a suspicious lowering of the conversational volume level in the room that Lee didn't miss. Nor Barney, from the wry silence he was pointedly giving the unintimidated woman.

Lee finally had enough: he wasn't going through the whole mission with the gang giving them both funny looks; everyone needed to start focusing. "...Well, he can fly."

Barney turned a disbelieving glare at him.

Lee gave him wide innocent eyes, ignoring the snorts around them, "What?? You can!" Before Barney's open mouth could start ranting him out, he dropped the act and grinned, "-Planes that is," he turned the smirk on the groaning new crew, "And choppers and fighter jets," he gave Barney a mock-disappointed look, "I was so crushed when I found out he couldn't do the Harrier." 

"Lee?"

Oh that so-reasonable tone spelled danger; good thing he loved danger. Lee grinned eagerly, "Yeah, boss?"

Grin; *dangerous* grin. Grin with eyes that glowed a promise... "Since *you're* rated on the Harrier, doing *you* is fucking close enough to those overpriced birds."

..He had to admit he *did* freeze for a second. Maybe even five. 

But he *definitely* recovered before the rest of the crew, and pointed a finger to try to negate the fact that he was grinning madly, "You just wait 'till I get you alone. We'll see who's a 'bird'." They both knew the best reward he could give the man for giving them away without a damn word of warning was to nail him to the first private wall.

"Glad you're not arguing overpriced, Christmas!"

Lee just rolled his eyes at Doc's expected snark, too internally ecstatic, as always, with the momentarily unshadowed joy in Barney's eyes, to seriously get annoyed at another dig at his choice of bikes, "Just 'cause *some* of us choose to live in the 21st century-"

"Hey, I'm obviously not the only one that likes antiques!"

"Heyyyy!" The mock-miffed look Barney was putting on wobbled under the force of the smirk under it, "I prefer the term 'classic'."

Lee snorted, "How about we compromise with 'original', lover." It felt beyond good to use the word. Out of his daydreams for only a few weeks, he'd already been getting damn tired of hiding behind their closed door. 

A bare few seconds of a soft look blinked away as Barney turned to the fascinated crowd of misfits, "I assume that's enough secrets to get you all focusing on the job, now?"

The answering mutters were cut by the approaching footsteps and an amused drawl, "I missed secret telling hour? Damn."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at a request from someone who wanted a fic on https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/p720x720/12219434_910430525716160_5252057293233376340_n.jpg?oh=841c61293ec1c5b1b04aafcb3e951fe7&oe=56F9DFAC

It was another lazy day: this one designed to get everyone chilled down after a mission that ran long and tense. An old trick Barney had been taught after coming back from 'Nam a mess; that soldiers need time with soldiers to unpack, even if it was wordlessly, by doing a lot of the same things that had caused the stress. Taking the demon out of the action.

In this case, Mars and Toll were compulsively cleaning their overused weapons. Gunner and Barney were honing every knife to a monofilliment edge, surrounded by the cloud of smoke from Barney's cigar. Galgo and Luna were wrestling, without the gleaming joy they usually displayed when doing it for fun. Thorn was feverishly creating some new program that'd.. do something magical to somehow avoid some of the complications that had turned a simple demo job into a week-long run through woods and towns while being hunted by an army. 

Ceasar and Doc were muttering as they went through the gear to get rid of everything that was too wrecked to protect a fly. And Smilee, grim-faced, had asked Lee to show him some of his kicks.

The fighters were the first to take a break, pulling everyone out of their headspaces and moving slow to the chairs haphazardly around the mini-fridge and coffee machine. It took a few minutes for the unnatural silence to slowly fade with Toll giving Luna a forcefully cheerful compliment on the side-control she'd locked Galgo in at some point. And then slowly the others joined in. 

Lee was mostly focused on Barney, half watchful for him heading into his usual martyred bad space, half falling all the harder for him every second he saw him deliberately burying the bad reflexes.

He *was* trying to keep an ear tuned to the others, too.. but locking on Barney kept him more sane than any situational therapy.

"Hey Christmas?"

But he *did* pay attention when Smilee's turn at the awkward conversation gambit was aimed his way, and turned his head to the now mostly tired-looking fellow making himself sip a Coke, "Yeah?"

"How'd you stay in that shape?"

Lee smiled wryly at the unsaid 'at your age'. Hearing Barney chuckle softly besides him, he smirked and slowly turned to give his man a deliberate once-over before turned back to the kid, "Lots of sex," he grinned wider at the groans from the others near enough to have caught the conversation, "Some weights, and regular protein shakes."

When Lee sent him a sly look through the laughter around them, Barney shrugged agreeably enough, commenting innocently, "He does make pretty good shakes."


End file.
